Oh, no... not again.

So this is how all the kids are doing it nowadays? Yeesh. Back in my day, putting up a page of rantings took effort.

It occurred to me recently that I was blogging before blogging existed. I had "general rantings and venting" webpages in a few different incarnations over the years. "Straight From the Gut" was the original one, spun off from my old Palomar College newspaper column of the same name. Started that one in 1996, I think, updated it for a couple of years, and it has since been lost to history. Then I pounded out "BKITU News Network" sometime after that, and I stopped updating it died in 2004 or so.

Since then... well, nothing. Until now, obviously. But you knew that. Though I'll keep reminding you of it. Because that's what I do. Frequently in sentence fragments. Like these. Until the joke has gone on too long. Like now. Got it? OK....

Kind of sad, really, that my "HEY, I'M WRITING AGAIN!" updates always take the same form, but as nature tends to follow patterns, and as of my last doctor's appointment I am still part of the natural world, so too does my inclination to write come in a pattern. It basically goes like this:

1. I get all spun up about something, and my choices are to either get it out in the air, or turn into a walking time bomb. Those who have seen me when the bomb explodes understand why the latter is not a good option.
2. I think, "Hey, I could write about this and people might think it's funny and people like it when I'm funny and everybody would love me!"
3. I then think, "You self-important idiot. Nobody cares."
4. I then weigh Point 2 against Point 3. Point 3 sometimes wins, and nothing happens.
5. Usually (and this may be surprising), Point 2 wins out. The problem is that it is quickly followed by me thinking, "Yeah? You're going to post three updates, then you'll go a couple of weeks without anything interesting happen, then you'll start worrying that you don't post enough, which gives you horrendous writer's block, which leads to another two weeks of doing nothing, and then by that time it's too late because people have disregarded you again and it's just a gigantic waste of time so sit down, shut up, and have a beer." This step is where I spend the vast majority of my authoring life.
6. On the rare occasion I get beyond Point 5, I invariably end up nutting up and writing something like this very blog post.

Those of you who have been around me for a while know the drill. For the rest of you, the "I'M BACK! =D" post goes like this:

Hey, everybody! Been a while, I know. But... that's how life goes sometimes. Nothing interesting enough to report happens, so I don't say anything. But then I hear the Siren's call of the keyboard and resist it, but I can't stay away forever. So, this time, I promise, pinky swear, no foolin', I'll update no less frequently than once a week and I'll be your dancing monkey forever and ever!

As you might have guessed based on Point 5 above (or known already if you've been around for the previous incarnations of my rantings), the last sentence is pure, uncut, pharmaceutical-grade bullshit.

I end up writing only when I want to write, until I get myself so wrapped up in thinking that I'm behind some kind of schedule that I just give up. I need to write more, no doubt (and I have used my Facebook profile as a partial outlet)... but for the big stuff, I should write only when I want to, no more no less, and that's been the issue all along now that I think of it.

I need to get over this stupid idea that I need to update on a particular schedule — weekly, monthly, twice per presidential term, whatever — or people get pissed off. I don't write for a newspaper anymore. I don't have external deadlines to meet, and internal deadlines shut me down when I fail to meet them.

So... I won't have them. I'll update when I update, and you'll just have to deal with that.

You'll have to forgive the format for a bit. Though, as mentioned, I was blogging before blogging existed, I'm still getting used to this particular medium. I'm currently a blog idiot. Hopefully I'll move up to "imbecile" in relatively short order, and thereafter I can settle in at my normal "moron" level for the duration.

Oh, and I'M BACK! =D